Lumpy Harvest

If You Can’t Lick ‘Em, Join ‘Em (2011)

lumpyharvest — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 22:30:35 +0000

Pity the poor organist! All he wants to do is practice his Peer Gynt Suite in his church, and he gets invaded by a bizarre marching band of toy soldiers complete with maniac vocalist. He joins in, only to be drowned out, and then the soldiers march on, leaving only the faint sound of a car stereo. Besides the thundering pipe organ, there’s a thumping tambourine, a Jew’s harp, a full women’s choir and a couple of honking vuvuzelas, plus a distant recording of Tejano music coming from an overloaded car trunk subwoofer. Oh, and “March of the Wooden Soldiers” from the 1940s.

If You Can’t Lick ‘Em, Join ‘Em

Sketch 1–The Journey Is Over (2011)

lumpyharvest — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:06:16 +0000

Here’s a short thing I’ve been working on for awhile, using samples from a wide variety of sources plus a beautiful recording of a forest in the rain. Hope you like it…

Sketch 1–The Journey Is Over

Spinach Mother of Christ

lumpyharvest — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 03:35:34 +0000

I have toyed with the idea of expanding beyond pure audio in my posts, and this recipe pushed me over the edge. That is the correct title, and it’s from a book called “Bull Cook and Authentic Historical Recipes and Practices,” privately printed in a small Minnesota town in 1960. Here goes:

“The Virgin Mary, Mother of Christ was very fond of spinach. This is as well a known fact in Nazareth today as it was 19 centuries ago. Her favorite music was that of the crude bagpipes of that time, and this also is a well known fact.

Her recipe for preparing spinach spread with Christianity throughout Europe. On the eve of Christ’s birth in the cave that was called a stable, Her only meal was spinach.

The early European immigrants from Germany, France, and Italy nearly all brought this recipe with them. This is a recipe for people who like a mild garlic flavor, it definitely is not for people who do not like some garlic.

This recipe cannot be made from canned spinach. Canned spinach in no way resembles fresh or frozen spinach and in my opinion is fit for neither man or beast.

Take six quarts of fresh spinach and carefully remove the heavy stems. If you use frozen spinach take two boxes. Boil the fresh spinach five minutes–no more. If you use frozen spinach place it in boiling water…”

Wellll, it drones on and on and on. Seems like a pretty ordinary recipe to me. But then again, I don’t pretend to be a culinary genius. Or a theologian, either…

Spry (2011)

lumpyharvest — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 03:23:38 +0000

It’s been a while, once again… Here’s a fantasy homage to pure vegetable shortening of bygone days. The text is from the company booklet “What Shall I Cook Today?”; illustrations follow. Actually, this piece is about the past and the future, not very much about the present. With that mysterious statement, I’ll get the hell out of the way…

Spry

Focus Group (2011)

lumpyharvest — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:20:45 +0000

What do movie producers, food manufacturers, and politicians all have in common? Riiiight, focus groups! They get people together, pay ‘em a little money, give ‘em some (cheap) food, and try and make ‘em believe that their opinions are really making a difference, that they are exerting control over our crazy world. Well, ummm, they’re not. But let’s eavesdrop on one, evaluating the sound track on a very peculiar film. Listener discretion advised…

Focus Group

Hell and Damnation (2011)

lumpyharvest — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 20:11:31 +0000

Here’s my first piece in quite a while. I’ve been working on it for almost a year. For me it almost qualifies as a “magnum opus,” since it’s almost 11 minutes long! It’s a meditation on…well, hell and damnation. The inspiration was a rip from a Thai Buddhist cassette I found on a blog. That repetitive choral line goes on for half an hour. Anyway, a hellish soundscape with flashes of prairie chickens, preachers, Japanese phone calls and power stations, Balinese mornings, French forests, Czech mineshaft elevators, bla bla bla… enjoy!

Hell and Damnation

Tea Party Antics (2010)

lumpyharvest — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 04:35:50 +0000

As we get deep into the political season here in the U.S. of A., my hackles start to rise again. Here is a fantasy infomercial that could have been put out by the Tea Party Express. Rude and mean, just like them…

Tea Party Antics

Jesus, I (Rocky Catarrh) Have Needs (2010)

lumpyharvest — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 19:12:02 +0000

Rocky Catarrh, “private detective and intensely devout Christian,” as he calls himself, is back, and more confused than ever. His life is falling apart. Work has no meaning, his rabbit Ace has been ill for weeks, and there’s always “the woman thing”… As usual, he prays to Jesus, who seems to have problems of his own lately…

Jesus, I (Rocky Catarrh) Have Needs

Vuvuzela Gabrieli (2010)

lumpyharvest — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 05:20:37 +0000

In the wake of the World Cup, I got curious about vuvuzelas, the plastic horns being blown exuberantly throughout the matches. Some audio company had developed a filter to reduce the onslaught of the racket on TV, to make commentary actually audible. Then my wife got the idea: what if vuvuzelas could be made to play in brass choirs, like Gabrieli’s music centuries ago? With the brilliant vuvuzela sample set from Sample Logic, and a midi file from Classicalarchives of a Gabrieli canzona, combined with my always-twisted point of view, the piece was inevitable…

Vuvuzela Gabrieli

Gamelan Showroom (2010)

lumpyharvest — Mon, 31 May 2010 05:10:00 +0000

This piece started out sooo innocently… A showroom in Indonesia demonstrating the classic gamelan gongs, mostly for tourists; when you hear “Mary Had A Little Lamb” being picked out on gongs, it’s a pretty fair bet that tourist kids are on site. So far so good. But then, the piece is hijacked… by birthers. Listen for yourselves…

Gamelan Showroom